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Very weird night, had to go to bed early, woke up at 2am, quite hot with a good headache, very thirsty, drank 1/2 bottle of water!and sore all over.Then went back to bed, had a weird ‘experience, dream. I was being shown 2 options, 1 being a really fascinating one of answers, the universe and heaps of stuff I can’t remember now, very comforting and felt really good; and 2 being the present situation with past and future events with the good and bad times to. All a bit hazy now, tried my best to remember it all for the Blog. Was given the choice of which one I wanted but I couldn’t be with my lady, my wife, so off course  took the no:2 now option. Was very similar to the experience feeling of when I was in the Coma. Why me? What does all this mean?


yesterday was fun, fell over, just missed grabbing the cupboard I normally use for a hand grab. Fell fast, luckily as soon as I knew I had missed the cupboard and was falling, I managed to use my chest to land on the cupboard then was able to turn round while falling to get my back against it. Quick tho! I didn’t think I was injured, spent the rest of the day very ‘fuzzy’ and ‘light’ headed. Tired me out, must have been the scare.

back again

been off for a while, am now doing Gym 2 days a week, Pool just once a week. Gets me to fatigued if I over-train.  Finally worked it out 🙂 and no BJJ now for a couple of weeks, Leigh is training fighters. It’s been good tho, made me cut back. Tend to throw myself into training to much and then wonder why I’m getting tired and sore. Had to get a Doctors Clearance to go to the Gym, almost didn’t give it! Gave me the old speech of being aware of my limitations and abilities, NO acknowledging of trying to get forward, just negatives.Annoyed me how nobody wants you to do anything that may be ‘risk’. I could also be involved in a car accident! Statistically more of a chance. Do not try to control me! if things happen, then things happen. Everyone knows best !, or thinks they do,. Anyway, I have improved my weight level’s, went up a 5 kilo increase, working on the machines, also the Smith Machine for squats, only able to handle the bar for now, left leg still cramps up. But am doing ‘full’ squats! Will do the Gym for 3-4mth’s, then planning on focusing on walking a fair bit. Leg weights and  walking laps around the yard stuff. Increasing my strength and endurance by using the Gym now. Hoping/ WILL be able to get around with just my walking stick (balance) by end of the year, that’s the plan anyway.



Ataxia is not good. Makes my arms/hands shake like hell.Also my left leg likes to jump in, then it’s really on! Concentration doesn’t make any difference, just blurs the vision focus even more. Just simple,easy things can take literally hours. Very frustrating but there isn’t much I can do about it, hard for others to understand tho.

Cerebellar ataxia – bilateral
This is ataxia caused by a dysfunction of the cerebellum – a region in the brain which is involved in the assimilation of sensory perception, coordination and motor control. Cerebellar ataxia causes some basic neurological problems, such as:

  • Floppiness (hypotonia).
  • Lack of co-ordination between organs, muscles, limbs or joints (asynergy).
  • Impaired ability to control distance, power, and speed of an arm, hand, leg or eye movement (dysmetria).
  • Difficulty in accurately estimating how much time has passed (dyschronometria).
  • An inability to perform rapid, alternating movements (dysdiadochokinesia).

How the patient is affected depends on which parts of the cerebellar are lesioned, and whether lesions occur on one side (unilateral) or both sides (bilateral). 


Pissed off! Stroke Forum – bloke who admits smoking and all the ‘helpful’ anti-smokers. Why can’t others just stop trying to push their life’s and believes on others. especiality after the guy has had a couple of strokes. Yes!, I still smoke, and I enjoy it, so what! and my strokes were not related. I have always had these caring folk advising me on my life, (funny, never saw them post-stroke), We managed fine before, and have managed fine now. Yes, we could have extra money if we stopped, we could also be in a car accident!!  What is the fear anyway, may die a terrible death? If you find this fearful – don’t smoke. I believe in choice and trying to be non-judgmental, I try anyway. Some of my non-smoke non-judgmental friends are quite good, and really don’t like all this anti-smoker stuff. I just wish people would just keep their comments to themselves, others will grow regardless. end of rant


Sleeping is a bit of trouble now. I hate the day finishing, night coming in. Means bed and restlessness, no matter how much I put in that day, a 1/2 hr – 2 hr rest and then I’m awake again, then I crash around 3am. Prob from having the Stroke at night is a mental thing. I don’t know. On the plus – it gives me ‘me time’ to wander round, or stumble round with my walking stick. Sleep is something I had trouble with before too. Hope it’s not a prelude. I actually don’t mind the late sleep 3 – 10, feels good, trouble is 1/2 the day is gone by the time I get up.


Quality of Life

How can one say this? and really understand it. The ‘quality of life’ has completely changed now. Before this you would never think about it, if things were going ok it was good, if not, it sucked. 2 years on and everything is still a challenge. I remember going to a group meeting and meeting everyone, they were still recovering 6yrs, 10yrs, 20yrs and I thought ‘NO WAY’ will I be that long. So I thought. Quality is what you can make it, I think. My own quality is damm good, I have a loving and caring wife, 2 great kids (not kids now), pretty good health, our own home and on a pension, therefore regular income. A lot more than others! But is it really quality ? I think quality, like happiness is what you make.

Gym / Pool

well today we checked out the gym at our Sports and Leisure Centre, looked good so joined up.

I feel I am ready to really start pushing myself, muscle wise, bit past the Pilates , Time to Change again . . . .  . and the caption below is me.Image The Centre’s PT is booked to run me thru an assessment tomorrow. Should be fun!